Why I Write

I've never been good at spontaneous comebacks or improvisation. I want the time to think things through, to be precise, to express myself as clearly and honestly as possible. Words matter. They have power. They can hurt and they can heal. They are the best channel to forging true connections, to stepping outside yourself and engaging with a larger world. I am a lover of words. I get that from my father.

Daddy was a coal miner. He was also a poet. He loved the written word and he shared that love with his children. But he struggled greatly with the spoken word. He had a speech impediment that caused him not to want to speak on the phone because he was sometimes hard to understand. He was one of the smartest people I ever knew. But because of his condition, people sometimes judged him to be less intelligent than he was. But when he put pen to paper, he could make magic.

I did not have a speech impediment, but I did have a social one. As a child, I was socially awkward and was often bullied at school. I was so shy that I would walk down the hallways at school with my eyes on the ground. I was afraid that if I looked up, I would make eye contact with someone and be forced to think of something to say. I was often literally rendered speechless. Then I started putting my thoughts on paper. I loved the luxury of quiet reflection.

I also loved the written words of others. I was an avid reader. I soon learned that I could speak the words of others comfortably, because I learned them in advance. I had a script. I was prepared. The logical leap, then, was to create my own scripts.

My writing gives me my voice. It allows me to be thoughtful and articulate. It prepares me for my encounters with the world. It gives me the self-confidence that I have so often lacked. When given the choice, I am careful about the words I put into the world, because I have so often been wounded by the words of others. I want my words to make a positive difference in the world. I want the time to examine each choice, to craft my messages, to play with image and sound and meaning. Words have power. When I write, I engage the power within me. I can share what matters. I can tap into a wellspring of magic. I can grow wings and fly.